I might kill myself tonight, I really am going crazy?

you have to step back and look at the situation part by part. you CANNOT go to family nor can you seek "professional help" you don't have a job now? wait until you see a shrink...you'll never get certain jobs dealing with them. menial jobs out here are scarce so its not you its the economy. to get a job i would suggest a "trade" something you can go to school for or take a 5 or so month course for...some of the classes include emergency medical tech 5 months certified nurse aide 5months security is even faster...it takes about a month to get a perc card and you can work security. so there are jobs out here but you have to pay to actualy get them...but best of luck and hope you floolw my advice